Much Ado About Nothing: Act 3, Scene 3
Illustrator: Sir John Gilbert
Enter DOGBERRY and his compartner
[VERGES] with the WATCH.
DOGBERRY
1
Are you good men and true?
VERGES
2
Yea, or else it were pity but they should 3. salvation: malapropism for "damnation."
3
suffer salvation, body and soul.
DOGBERRY
4
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, 5. allegiance: This is another malapropism, but I can't imagine what other word Dogberry could have in mind. >>>
5
if they should have any allegiance in them, being 6
chosen for the prince's watch.
VERGES
7. charge: instructions.
7
Well, give them their charge, neighbor 8
Dogberry.
DOGBERRY
9. desartless: malapropism for "deserving."
9
First, who think you the most desartless
10. constable: i.e., captain of the watch for the night. Dogberry is the permanent constable.
10
man to be constable?
First Watchman
11. Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole: Perhaps Shakespeare is making a joke about the contrasting appearances of two members of his acting company. Oat cake is light brown; sea coal (coal washed out onto beaches) is dark black.
11
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole; for they 12
can write and read.
DOGBERRY
13
Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath blessed14. good name: good reputation. well-favored: good looking. 15-16. to write and read comes by nature: Only the ability to learn how to read and write comes by nature. Perhaps Dogberry is illiterate and a bit jealous of Seacole's accomplishment.
14
you with a good name: to be a well-favored man is 15
the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes 16
by nature.
Second Watchman
17
Both which, master constable,
DOGBERRY
18
You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, 19
for your favor, sir, why, give God thanks, and make20-22. and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity: Dogberry should mean that Seacole's ability to read and write is an accomplishment (not a "vanity") which could be very useful and urgently needed, but Dogberry gets everything backwards. 23. senseless: malapropism for "sensible." 25. comprehend: malapropism for "apprehend." vargom: malapropism for "vagrant." 26. stand: stop.
20
no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, 21
let that appear when there is no need of such 22
vanity. You are thought here to be the most 23
senseless and fit man for the constable of the 24
watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your 25
charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are 26
to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.
Second Watchman
27
How if a' will not stand?
DOGBERRY
28
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and 29
presently call the rest of the watch together and 30
thank God you are rid of a knave.
VERGES
31
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none 32
of the prince's subjects.
DOGBERRY
33. meddle: have to do.
33
True, and they are to meddle with none but the 34
prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in 35
the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to
36. tolerable: malapropism for intolerable.
36
talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.
Watchman
37
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what38. belongs to: are the duties of. The Watchman has just stumbled into saying that it is the duty of the watch to sleep. Of course the opposite is true: the duty of a watchman is to stay on watch, awake and alert.
38
belongs to a watch.
DOGBERRY
39
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet 40
watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should
41. bills: A bill is a kind of polearm. >>>
41
offend: only, have a care that your bills be not 42
stolen. Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, 43
and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
Watchman
44
How if they will not?
DOGBERRY
45
Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: 46. if they make you not then the better answer: i.e., if they don't then agree to go home.
46
if they make you not then the better answer, 47
you may say they are not the men you took 48
them for.
Watchman
49
Well, sir.
DOGBERRY
50
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by 51. true: honest.
51
virtue of your office, to be no true man; and,
52-53. meddle or make: have to do.
52
for such kind of men, the less you meddle or
53. is: it is.
53
make with them, why the more is for your honesty.
Watchman
54
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay 55
hands on him?
DOGBERRY
56
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think57. they that touch pitch will be defiled: This common saying means that you shouldn't hang out with thieves or other low-life characters.
57
they that touch pitch will be defiled: the most 58
peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, 59
is to let him show himself what he is and steal 60
out of your company.
VERGES
61
You have been always called a merciful 62
man, partner.
DOGBERRY
63
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much 64. more: Dogberry should say "less."
64
more a man who hath any honesty in him.
VERGES
65
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call66. still: quiet.
66
to the nurse and bid her still it.
Watchman
67
How if the nurse be asleep and will 68
not hear us?
DOGBERRY
69
Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake70-72. the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats: This appears to be a proverb, and it seems that Dogberry thinks this proverb shows that there's
nothing to be a done about a nurse who won't make her child be quiet.
70
her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her 71
lamb when it baes will never answer a calf 72
when he bleats.
VERGES
73
'Tis very true.
DOGBERRY
74
This is the end of the charge:you, constable, are75. present: represent.
75
to present the prince's own person: if you meet the
76. stay: stop, detain.
76
prince in the night, you may stay him.
VERGES
77
Nay, by'r our lady, that I think a' cannot.
DOGBERRY
78
Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows79. statues: malapropism for "statutes" [laws]. without: unless.
79
statues, he may stay him: marry, not without the 80
prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to 81
offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man 82
against his will.
VERGES
83
By'r lady, I think it be so.
DOGBERRY
84
Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be85. weight chances: Dogberry probably means "weighty chance" (heavy risk).
85
any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your 86
fellows' counsels and your own; and good night. 87
Come, neighbour.
Watchman
88
Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us 89
go sit here upon the church-bench till two, 90
and then all to bed.
DOGBERRY
91
One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you watch 92
about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being93. coil: fuss, to-do.
93
there tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight.
94. vigitant: malapropism for "vigilant."
94
Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you.
Exeunt [DOGBERRY and VERGES].
Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE.
BORACHIO
95
What, Conrade!
Watchman [To the other watchmen.]
96
Peace! stir not.
BORACHIO
97
Conrade, I say!
CONRADE
98
Here, man; I am at thy elbow.
BORACHIO
99. Mass: by the mass.
99
Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a
100. scab: scurvy fellow.
100
scab follow.
CONRADE
101
I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward102
with thy tale.
BORACHIO
103. penthouse: a structure with a shed roof, projecting from the main building. Picture 104-105. like a true drunkard, utter all: The idea that drinking makes one tell the truth was, and is, expressed by the Latin phrase, "In vino veritas" (in wine there is truth).
103
Stand thee close, then, under this penthouse, for104
it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard,105
utter all to thee.
Watchman [To the other watchmen.]
106
Some treason, masters: yet107. stand close: keep concealed.
107
stand close.
BORACHIO
108
Therefore know I have earned of Don John109
a thousand ducats.
CONRADE
110
Is it possible that any villany should be111. dear: costly.
111
so dear?
BORACHIO
112
Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any113. villainy: i.e., one wanting villainy to be committed.
113
villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains114
have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what115
price they will.
CONRADE
116
I wonder at it.
BORACHIO
117. unconfirmed: inexperienced.
117
That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest 118
that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak,
119. is nothing to a man: i.e., does not make the man.
119
is nothing to a man.
CONRADE
120
Yes, it is apparel.
BORACHIO
121
I mean, the fashion.
CONRADE
122
Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
BORACHIO
123
Tush! I may as well say the fool's the fool. But124. deformed thief: ill-formed thief. Fashion, by leading men to wear different kinds of clothing, steals their forms. In lines 133-138 Borachio offers examples of this general principle.
124
seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?
Watchman [To the other watchmen.]
125
I know that Deformed; a' has been a vile thief 126
this seven year; a' goes up and down like a127
gentleman: I remember his name.
BORACHIO
128
Didst thou not hear somebody?
CONRADE
129
No; 'twas the vane on the house.
BORACHIO
130
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this 131
fashion is? how giddily a' turns about all the hot 132
bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty?133-134. Pharaoh's soldiers: Possibly Shakespeare had in mind some picture >>> 134. reechy: smoky, filthy. 135. Bel's priests: An allusion to the story of Bel (Baal) and the Dragon from the Apocryphal book of Daniel. 136. shaven Hercules: This allusion has not been identified. 137. codpiece: genital covering worn by men. >>>
139-140. fashion wears out more apparel than the man: i.e., clothes are more often discarded because the fashion has changed than because they are worn out. 142-143. shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion: Conrade is punning on the another meaning of "shift": to change clothes.
139-140. fashion wears out more apparel than the man: i.e., clothes are more often discarded because the fashion has changed than because they are worn out. 142-143. shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion: Conrade is punning on the another meaning of "shift": to change clothes.
133
sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh's134
soldiers in the reechy painting, sometime like135
god Bel's priests in the old church-window, 136
sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched 137
worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as138
massy as his club?
CONRADE
139
All this I see; and I see that the fashion wears140
out more apparel than the man. But art not thou141
thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast142
shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the143
fashion?
BORACHIO
144. Not so, neither: Conrade has accused Borachio of shifting his topic to "the fashion." Borachio now denies Conrade's accusation. It's possible that in Borachio's drunken mind there is a connection between his commentary on "the fashion" and the story of his visit to Margaret at Hero's window; perhaps the connection is that, as "the fashion" belies a man's character, so his charade with Margaret has belied Hero's character. 150. possessed: i.e., filled with suspicion of Hero's virtue. 151. amiable: loving.
144
Not so, neither: but know that I have tonight145
wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, 146
by the name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress'147
chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good148
night,I tell this tale vilely:I should first149
tell thee how the prince, Claudio and my master,150
planted and placed and possessed by my master Don151
John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable152
encounter.
CONRADE
153
And thought they Margaret was Hero?
BORACHIO
154
Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the155
devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly156. possessed them: i.e., filled them with suspicion of Hero's virtue.
156
by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by157
the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly158
by my villany, which did confirm any slander that159
Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; 160
swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next 161
morning at the temple, and there, before the whole162
congregation, shame her with what he saw o'er night163
and send her home again without a husband.
First Watchman
164
We charge you, in the prince's name,165. stand!: stop!; halt!
165
stand!
Second Watchman
166. right master constable: i.e., Dogberry.
166
Call up the right master constable. We have here
167. recovered: malapropism for "discovered." lechery: Maybe "treachery" is meant, but "lechery" (fornication, adultery) would also be appropriate.
167
recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that168
ever was known in the commonwealth.
First Watchman
169
And one Deformed is one of them: I know him; a'170. lock: i.e., a love lock of hair. Such a fancy adornment would be fit for a person whose name is "Deformed" and who is a companion of "Fashion."
170
wears a lock.
CONRADE
171
Masters, masters,
Second Watchman
172
You'll be made bring Deformed forth,173
I warrant you.
CONRADE
174
Masters,
First Watchman
175-176. we charge you let us obey you to go with us: This is a double malapropism. First Watchman means to say, "we order you to obey us and go with us."
175
Never speak: we charge you let us176
obey you to go with us.
BORACHIO
177. goodly commodity: valuable commercial goods.
177
We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being
178. taken up of these men's bills: (1) obtained on credit secured by these men's promissory notes; (2) arrested by men with pikes. Borachio is sarcastically saying that he and Conrade will be a valuable catch for the rubes who have arrested them. 179. in question: (1) of doubtful value; (2) about to be tried in court. Conrade is also being sarcastic.
178
taken up of these men's bills.
CONRADE
179
A commodity in question, I warrant you.180
Come, we'll obey you.
Exeunt.