Twelfth Night: Act 4, Scene 2
Enter MARIA and Clown.
MARIA
1
Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
2
make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate:
2. him: i.e., Malvolio. Sir Topas the curate: a clergyman who serves in a single parish.
3
do it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst.
3. the whilst: in the meantime.
[Exit.]
Clown
4
Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself
4. dissemble myself: disguise myself.
5
in't; and I would I were the first that ever
6
dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to
6. dissembled: played the hypocrite. tall: large, fleshy. become the function: suit the role. Stereotypically, priests were fat and scholars were lean. to be said: to have a reputation (as). 9. goes as fairly: sounds as well.
7
become the function well, nor lean enough to be
8
thought a good student; but to be said an honest man
9
and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a
10
careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
10. competitors: partners, confederates (in the scheme to play another trick on Malvolio).
Enter [SIR] TOBY [BELCH and MARIA].
SIR TOBY BELCH
11
Jove bless thee, master Parson.
Clown
12
Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of
12. Bonos dies: mock Latin for "Good day"a real parson would know Latin. old hermit of Prague: a religious sage, invented by the Clown. wittily: cleverly, wisely.
13
Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily
14
said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;'
14. King Gorboduc: a legendary ancient King of England. "That that is is," etc.: The Clown is mocking the scholarly habit of using a lot of words to make a simple point. In this case the simple point is, "If you say I am 'Master Parson', why so I am."
15
so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for,
16
what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'?
SIR TOBY BELCH
17
To him, Sir Topas.
Clown
18
What, ho, I say! peace in this prison!
18. What, ho, I say!: "Sir Topas" is calling out to Malvolio, who is locked in a dark room. prison:
SIR TOBY BELCH
19
The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.
19. knave: i.e., the Clown. counterfeits: plays the role.
MALVOLIO
20
(Within.) Who calls there?
20. Within: i.e., offstage, out of sight.
Clown
21
Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit
22
Malvolio the lunatic.
MALVOLIO
23
Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to
24
my lady.
Clown
25
Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this
25. hyperbolical fiend: rowdy devil (who has taken possession of Malvolio).
26
man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
SIR TOBY BELCH
27
Well said, Master Parson.
MALVOLIO
28
Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir
29
Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me
30
here in hideous darkness.
Clown
31
Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
32
modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones
32. modest: moderate.
33
that will use the devil himself with courtesy:
34
sayest thou that house is dark?
34. house: i.e., room.
MALVOLIO
35
As hell, Sir Topas.
Clown
36
Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
36. barricadoes: barricades. clerestories: windows in an upper wall. south north: There is no such direction.
37
and the clearstories toward the south north are as
38
lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of
38. ebony: black woodebony is naturally dull and not suitable for use as window glass. obstruction: shutting out of light.
39
obstruction?
MALVOLIO
40
I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is
41
dark.
Clown
42
Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness
43
but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than
43. puzzled: confused, lost.
44
the Egyptians in their fog.
44. the Egyptians in their fog: from Exodus 10:20-23.
MALVOLIO
45
I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though
46
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there
47
was never man thus abused. I am no more mad
48
than you are: make the trial of it in any constant
49
question.
48-49. make the trial of it in any constant question: test my sanity in any rational discourse .
Clown
50
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning
50. Pythagoras: Greek philosopher (fl. 530 BCE.) who taught that a soul can transmigrate from one creature to another.
51
wild fowl?
MALVOLIO
52
That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit
52. haply: happily, perhaps, by chance.
53
a bird.
Clown
54
What thinkest thou of his opinion?
MALVOLIO
55
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his
55. I think nobly of the soul: Malvolio adheres to traditional Christian belief. approve: agree with, confirm.
56
opinion.
Clown
57
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou
58
shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow
58. ere: before. 58-59. allow of thy wits: acknowledge that you are sane. 59. fear to: i.e., you must be afraid to. woodcock: a really stupid bird. 60. dispossess: evict (from the dead woodcock). Fare thee well: i.e., good-byethe Clown steps out of the earshot of Malvolio.
59
of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou
60
dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
MALVOLIO
61
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
SIR TOBY BELCH
62
My most exquisite Sir Topas!
62. exquisite: perfectly done. (Sir Toby is praising the Clown's playing of Sir Topas.)
Clown
63
Nay, I am for all waters.
63. I am for all waters: literally, "I can sail any sea"; metaphorically, "I can play many different roles".
MARIA
64
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
65
gown: he sees thee not.
SIR TOBY BELCH
66
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how
67
thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this
68
knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I
68. delivered: released from prison.
69
would he were, for I am now so far in offence with
69. so far in offence: in so trouble.
70
my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this
71
sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
71. to the upshot: i.e., any further.
Exit [SIR TOBY BELCH with MARIA].
Clown [Singing.]
72
'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
73
Tell me how thy lady does.'
MALVOLIO
74
Fool!
Clown
75
'My lady is unkind, perdy.'
77. perdy: indeed, certainly.
MALVOLIO
76
Fool!
Clown
77
'Alas, why is she so?'
MALVOLIO
78
Fool, I say!
Clown
79
'She loves another' Who calls, ha?
79. "Hey, Robin . . . She loves another": The Clown sings lines from an old song, the moral of which is that you can only trust women to be untrustworthy.
MALVOLIO
80
Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at
81
my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink
82
and paper: as I am a gentleman, I will live to
83
be thankful to thee for't.
Clown
84
Master Malvolio?
MALVOLIO
85
Ay, good fool.
Clown
86
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
86. how fell you besides your five wits?: how did you fall out of sanity? (The five wits are common sense, fantasy, memory, judgment, and imagination.)
MALVOLIO
87
Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused:
87. notoriously abused: outrageously slandered.
88
I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.
Clown
89
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if
90
you be no better in your wits than a fool.
MALVOLIO
91
They have here propertied me; keep me in
91. propertied me: treated me as mere property.
92
darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and
92. ministers: agents, surrogates.
93
do all they can to face me out of my wits.
93. face me out of my wits: drive me insane by pretending that I am insanethe sort of thing that "Sir Topas" has just been doing.
Clown
94
Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
94. Advise you: think about, be careful of.
the minister: i.e., "Sir Topas."
95
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore!
96
endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain
96. endeavour thyself to sleep: try to go to sleep.
97
bibble babble.
MALVOLIO
98
Sir Topas!
Clown
99
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who,
100
I, sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas.
100. God be wi' you: good-bye.
101
Marry, amen. I will, sir, I will.
MALVOLIO
102
Fool, fool, fool, I say!
Clown
103
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
104
shent for speaking to you.
104. shent: scolded, rebuked.
MALVOLIO
105
Good fool, help me to some light and some
106
paper: I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as
107
any man in Illyria.
Clown
108
Well-a-day that you were, sir
108. Well-a-day that you were: i.e., Alas, I wish that you really were (sane).
MALVOLIO
109
By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper
110
and light; and convey what I will set down to my
110. convey: deliver.
111
lady: it shall advantage thee more than ever the
111. advantage: benefit.
112
bearing of letter did.
Clown
113
I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you
114
not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?
113-114. But . . . counterfeit?: i.e., Isn't it true that you really are mad? Or are you just pretending to be mad?
MALVOLIO
115
Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.
Clown
116
Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his
117
brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.
116-117. see his brains: Maybe that would be when they've been knocked out and the man is dead.
MALVOLIO
118
Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree:
118. requite it: return the favor (of bringing me writing materials). 119. be gone: Malvolio wants the fool to hurry up and get those writing materials.
119
I prithee, be gone.
Clown [Singing]
120
I am gone, sir,
121
And anon, sir,
122
I'll be with you again,
123
In a trice,
123. trice: moment.
124
Like to the old Vice,
124. Vice: A mischievous character in medieval drama.
125
Your need to sustain;
125. Your need to sustain: to sustain you in your time of need .
126
Who, with dagger of lath,
126. dagger of lath: wooden dagger. (The Vice often carried one, beat the devil with it, and threatened to trim the devil's long nails with it.)
127
In his rage and his wrath,
128
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
129
Like a mad lad,
130
Pare thy nails, dad;
131
Adieu, good man devil.
131. good man devil: This "devil" is the one which has taken possession of Malvolio. "Goodman" is appropriate when you're talking to a humble farmer, insulting when you're talking to a devil.
Exit.