Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 2


           Enter HAMLET and three of the PLAYERS.
           Full Summary

      HAMLET
  1   Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to
  2   you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it,
  3   as many of our players do, I had as lief the town-crier
  4   spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with
  5   your hand, thus, but use all gently; for in the very
  6   torrent, tempest, and, as I may say, the whirlwind of
  7   passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance
  8   that may give it smoothness. O, it offends me to the
  9   soul to hear a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear
 10   a passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the
 11   groundlings, who for the most part are capable of
 12   nothing but inexplicable dumbshows and noise: I would
 13   have such a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant;
 14   it out-herods Herod: pray you, avoid it.

      First Player
 15   I warrant your honor.

      HAMLET
 16   Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion
 17   be your tutor: suit the action to the word, the word
 18   to the action; with this special observance, that you
 19   o'erstep not the modesty of nature: for any thing so
 20   overdone is from the purpose of playing, whose end,
 21   both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere,
 22   the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature,
 23   scorn her own image, and the very age and body of
 24   the time his form and pressure. Now this overdone,
 25   or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful
 26   laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the
 27   censure of the which one must in your allowance
 28   o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be
 29   players that I have seen play, and heard others
 30   praise, and that highly, not to speak it profanely,
 31   that, neither having the accent of Christians nor
 32   the gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so
 33   strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of
 34   nature's journeymen had made men and not made
 35   them well, they imitated humanity so abominably.

      First Player
 36   I hope we have reformed that indifferently with us,
 37   sir.

      HAMLET
 38   O, reform it altogether. And let those that play
 39   your clowns speak no more than is set down for
 40   them; for there be of them that will themselves
 41   laugh, to set on some quantity of barren spectators
 42   to laugh too; though, in the mean time, some
 43   necessary question of the play be then to be
 44   considered: that's villanous, and shows a most pitiful
 45   ambition in the fool that uses it. Go, make you ready.

           [Exeunt Players.]   Full Summary

           Enter POLONIUS, GUILDENSTERN
           and ROSENCRANTZ.

 46   How now, my lord! Will the king hear this piece
 47   of work?

      POLONIUS
 48   And the queen too, and that presently.

      HAMLET
 49   Bid the players make haste.

           [Exit Polonius.]

 50   Will you two help to hasten them?

      ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN
 51   Ay, my lord.

           Exeunt they two.

      HAMLET
 52   What ho! Horatio!

           Enter HORATIO.

      HORATIO
 53   Here, sweet lord, at your service.

      HAMLET
 54   Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
 55   As e'er my conversation coped withal.

      HORATIO
 56   O, my dear lord—

      HAMLET
 56                             Nay, do not think I flatter;
 57   For what advancement may I hope from thee
 58   That no revenue hast but thy good spirits,
 59   To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd?
 60   No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
 61   And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
 62   Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
 63   Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
 64   And could of men distinguish, her election
 65   Hath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been
 66   As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing,
 67   A man that Fortune's buffets and rewards
 68   Hast ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those
 69   Whose blood and judgment are so well commeddled,
 70   That they are not a pipe for Fortune's finger
 71   To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
 72   That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
 73   In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
 74   As I do thee.—Something too much of this.—
 75   There is a play tonight before the king;
 76   One scene of it comes near the circumstance
 77   Which I have told thee of my father's death:
 78   I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
 79   Even with the very comment of thy soul
 80   Observe mine uncle. If his occulted guilt
 81   Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
 82   It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
 83   And my imaginations are as foul
 84   As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note;
 85   For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
 86   And after we will both our judgments join
 87   In censure of his seeming.

      HORATIO
 87                                          Well, my lord:
 88   If a' steal aught the whilst this play is playing,
 89   And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

      HAMLET
 90   They are coming to the play; I must be idle.
 91   Get you a place.

           Enter trumpets and kettledrums,
           KING, QUEEN, POLONIUS,
           OPHELIA, [ROSENCRANTZ,
           GUILDENSTERN, and attendants].
           Full Summary

      KING
 92   How fares our cousin Hamlet?

      HAMLET
 93   Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish:
 94   I eat the air, promise-crammed. You cannot
 95   feed capons so.

      KING
 96   I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these
 97   words are not mine.

      HAMLET
 98   No, nor mine now. [To Polonius.] My lord,
 99   you played once i' the university, you say?

      POLONIUS
100   That did I, my lord; and was accounted a
101   good actor.

      HAMLET
102   What did you enact?

      POLONIUS
103   I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i' the
104   Capitol; Brutus killed me.

      HAMLET
105   It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a
106   calf there. Be the players ready?

      ROSENCRANTZ
107   Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience.

      QUEEN
108   Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

      HAMLET
109   No, good mother, here's metal more
110   attractive.

      POLONIUS [To the King.]
111    O, ho! do you mark that?

      HAMLET
112   Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

      OPHELIA
113   No, my lord.

      HAMLET
114   I mean, my head upon your lap?

      OPHELIA
115   Ay, my lord.

      HAMLET
116   Do you think I meant country matters?

      OPHELIA
117   I think nothing, my lord.

      HAMLET
118   That's a fair thought to lie between
119   maids' legs.

      OPHELIA
120   What is, my lord?

      HAMLET
121   Nothing.

      OPHELIA
122   You are merry, my lord.

      HAMLET
123   Who, I?

      OPHELIA
124   Ay, my lord.

      HAMLET
125   O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do
126   but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my mother
127   looks, and my father died within's two hours.

      OPHELIA
128   Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.

      HAMLET
129   So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I'll
130   have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two months ago,
131   and not forgotten yet? Then there's hope a great man's
132   memory may outlive his life half a year: but, by'r lady,
133   he must build churches, then; or else shall he suffer
134   not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose epitaph
135   is "For, O, for, O, the hobby-horse is forgot."   Full Summary

           The trumpets sounds. Dumb show follows.

           Enter a King and a Queen [very lovingly]; the
           Queen embracing him, and he her. [She kneels,
***        and makes show of protestation unto him.] He
           takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck.
           He lies him down upon a bank of flowers. She,
           seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in
           another man, takes off his crown, kisses it, pours
           poison in the sleeper's ears, and leaves him.
***        The Queen returns; finds the King dead, makes
           passionate action. The Poisoner, with some three
           or four, comes in again, seem to condole with her.
           The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner
           woos the Queen with gifts; she seems harsh awhile,
           but in the end accepts his love.

           Exeunt.

      OPHELIA
136   What means this, my lord?

      HAMLET
137   Marry, this' miching mallecho; it means
138   mischief.

      OPHELIA
139   Belike this show imports the argument of
140   the play.

           Enter PROLOGUE.

      HAMLET
141   We shall know by this fellow: the players
142   cannot keep counsel; they'll tell all.

      OPHELIA
143   Will he tell us what this show meant?

      HAMLET
144   Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be
145   not you ashamed to show, he'll not shame
146   to tell you what it means.

      OPHELIA
147   You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark
148   the play.

      Prologue
149   For us, and for our tragedy,
150   Here stooping to your clemency,
151   We beg your hearing patiently.

           [Exit.]

      HAMLET
152   Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

      OPHELIA
153   'Tis brief, my lord.

      HAMLET
154   As woman's love.

           Enter [two Players,] KING and QUEEN.

      Player King
155   Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
156   Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground,
157   And thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen
158   About the world have times twelve thirties been,
159   Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
160   Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

      Player Queen
161   So many journeys may the sun and moon
162   Make us again count o'er ere love be done!
163   But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
164   So far from cheer and from your former state,
165   That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
166   Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must,
167   For women's fear and love holds quantity;
168   In neither aught, or in extremity.
169   Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
170   And as my love is sized, my fear is so:
171   Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
172   Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

      Player King
173   'Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
174   My operant powers their functions leave to do:
175   And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
176   Honor'd, beloved; and haply one as kind
177   For husband shalt thou—

      Player Queen
177                                        O, confound the rest!
178   Such love must needs be treason in my breast:
179   In second husband let me be accurst!
180   None wed the second but who kill'd the first.

      HAMLET [Aside.]
181   Wormwood, wormwood.

      Player Queen
182   The instances that second marriage move
183   Are base respects of thrift, but none of love:
184   A second time I kill my husband dead,
185   When second husband kisses me in bed.

      Player King
186   I do believe you think what now you speak;
187   But what we do determine oft we break.
188   Purpose is but the slave to memory,
189   Of violent birth, but poor validity;
190   Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
191   But fall, unshaken, when they mellow be.
192   Most necessary 'tis that we forget
193   To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:
194   What to ourselves in passion we propose,
195   The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
196   The violence of either grief or joy
197   Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
198   Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
199   Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
200   This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
201   That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
202   For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
203   Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
204   The great man down, you mark his favorite flies;
205   The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
206   And hitherto doth love on fortune tend;
207   For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
208   And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
209   Directly seasons him his enemy.
210   But, orderly to end where I begun,
211   Our wills and fates do so contrary run
212   That our devices still are overthrown;
213   Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:
214   So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
215   But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

      Player Queen
216   Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light!
217   Sport and repose lock from me day and night!
218   To desperation turn my trust and hope!
219   An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope!
220   Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
221   Meet what I would have well and it destroy!
222   Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
223   If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

      HAMLET
224   If she should break it now!

      Player King
225   'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile;
226   My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
227   The tedious day with sleep.

           [Sleeps.]

      Player Queen
227                                           Sleep rock thy brain,
228   And never come mischance between us twain!

           Exit.   Full Summary

      HAMLET
229   Madam, how like you this play?

      QUEEN
230   The lady protests too much, methinks.

      HAMLET
231   O, but she'll keep her word.

      KING
232   Have you heard the argument? Is there no
233   offense in't?

      HAMLET
234   No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest—
235   no offense i' the world.

      KING
236   What do you call the play?

      HAMLET
237   The Mouse-trap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play
238   is the image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is
239   the duke's name; his wife, Baptista. You shall see
240   anon. 'Tis a knavish piece of work, but what of
241   that? Your Majesty and we that have free souls, it
242   touches us not. Let the galled jade winch, our
243   withers are unwrung.

           Enter LUCIANUS.

244   This is one Lucianus, nephew to the king.

      OPHELIA
245   You are as good as a chorus, my lord.

      HAMLET
246   I could interpret between you and your
247   love, if I could see the puppets dallying.

      OPHELIA
248   You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

      HAMLET
249   It would cost you a groaning to take off my
250   edge.

      OPHELIA
251   Still better, and worse.

      HAMLET
252   So you mistake your husbands. Begin, murderer;
253   leave thy damnable faces, and begin. Come,
254   the croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.

      LUCIANUS
255   Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing,
256   Confederate season, else no creature seeing;
257   Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
258   With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
259   Thy natural magic and dire property,
260   On wholesome life usurp immediately.

           [Pours the poison into the sleeper's ears.]

      HAMLET
261   He poisons him i' the garden for's estate. His
262   name's Gonzago: the story is extant, and writ in
263   choice Italian: you shall see anon how the murderer
264   gets the love of Gonzago's wife.

           [King rises.]

      OPHELIA
265   The king rises.

      HAMLET
266   What, frighted with false fire!

      QUEEN
267   How fares my lord?

      POLONIUS
268   Give o'er the play.

      KING
269   Give me some light: away!

      All
270   Lights, lights, lights!

           Exeunt all but Hamlet and Horatio.  Full Summary

      HAMLET
271      "Why, let the strucken deer go weep,
272        The hart ungalled play;
273      For some must watch, while some must sleep:
274        So runs the world away."
275   Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers— if
276   the rest of my fortunes turn Turk with me—with two
277   Provincial roses on my razed shoes, get me a
278   fellowship in a cry of players, sir?

      HORATIO
279   Half a share.

      HAMLET
280   A whole one, I.
281      "For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
282        This realm dismantled was
283      Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
284        A very, very—pajock.

      HORATIO
285   You might have rhymed.

      HAMLET
286   O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for
287   a thousand pound. Didst perceive?

      HORATIO
288   Very well, my lord.

      HAMLET
289   Upon the talk of the poisoning?

      HORATIO
290   I did very well note him.

      HAMLET
291   Ah, ha! Come, some music! come, the
292   recorders!
293      For if the king like not the comedy,
294      Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
295   Come, some music!

           Enter ROSENCRANTZ
           and GUILDENSTERN.  Full Summary

      GUILDENSTERN
296   Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with
297   you.

      HAMLET
298   Sir, a whole history.

      GUILDENSTERN
299   The king, sir—

      HAMLET
300   Ay, sir, what of him?

      GUILDENSTERN
301   Is in his retirement marvellous distempered.

      HAMLET
302   With drink, sir?

      GUILDENSTERN
303   No, my lord, rather with choler.

      HAMLET
304   Your wisdom should show itself more richer to
305   signify this to his doctor; for, for me to put him
306   to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into
307   far more choler.

      GUILDENSTERN
308   Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame
309   and start not so wildly from my affair.

      HAMLET
310   I am tame, sir: pronounce.

      GUILDENSTERN
311   The queen, your mother, in most great affliction
312   of spirit, hath sent me to you.

      HAMLET
313   You are welcome.

      GUILDENSTERN
314   Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the
315   right breed. If it shall please you to make me
316   a wholesome answer, I will do your mother's
317   commandment: if not, your pardon and my
318   return shall be the end of my business.

      HAMLET
319   Sir, I cannot.

      GUILDENSTERN
320   What, my lord?

      HAMLET
321   Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased:
322   but, sir, such answer as I can make, you shall
323   command; or, rather, as you say, my mother:
324   therefore no more, but to the matter: my mother,
325   you say—

      ROSENCRANTZ
326   Then thus she says; your behavior hath struck her
327   into amazement and admiration.

      HAMLET
328   O wonderful son, that can so stonish a mother! But
329   is there no sequel at the heels of this mother's
330   admiration? Impart.

      ROSENCRANTZ
331   She desires to speak with you in her closet, ere you
332   go to bed.

      HAMLET
333   We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have
334   you any further trade with us?

      ROSENCRANTZ
335   My lord, you once did love me.

      HAMLET
336   So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.

      ROSENCRANTZ
337   Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? you
338   do, surely, bar the door upon your own liberty, if
339   you deny your griefs to your friend.

      HAMLET
340   Sir, I lack advancement.

      ROSENCRANTZ
341   How can that be, when you have the voice of the king
342   himself for your succession in Denmark?

      HAMLET
343   Ay, but sir, "While the grass grows,"—the proverb
344   is something musty.

           Enter PLAYERS with recorders.

345   O, the recorders! let me see one. To withdraw with
346   you:—why do you go about to recover the wind of me,
347   as if you would drive me into a toil?

      GUILDENSTERN
348   O, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too
349   unmannerly.

      HAMLET
350   I do not well understand that. Will you play upon
351   this pipe?

      GUILDENSTERN
352   My lord, I cannot.

      HAMLET
353   I pray you.

      GUILDENSTERN
354   Believe me, I cannot.

      HAMLET
355   I do beseech you.

      GUILDENSTERN
356   I know no touch of it, my lord.

      HAMLET
357   'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with
358   your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your
359   mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music.
360   Look you, these are the stops.

      GUILDENSTERN
361   But these cannot I command to any utterance of
362   harmony; I have not the skill.

      HAMLET
363   Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of
364   me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know
365   my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
366   mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
367   the top of my compass: and there is much music,
368   excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot
369   you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am
370   easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what
371   instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you
372   cannot play upon me.

           Enter POLONIUS.  Full Summary

373   God bless you, sir!

      POLONIUS
374   My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
375   presently.

      HAMLET
376   Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape
377   of a camel?

      POLONIUS
378   By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.

      HAMLET
379   Methinks it is like a weasel.

      POLONIUS
380   It is backed like a weasel.

      HAMLET
381   Or like a whale?

      POLONIUS
382   Very like a whale.

      HAMLET
383   Then I will come to my mother by and by.
384   [Aside.] They fool me to the top of my bent.
385   I will come by and by.

      POLONIUS
386   I will say so.

           [Exit POLONIUS.]

      HAMLET
387   "By and by" is easily said. Leave me, friends.

           [Exeunt all but Hamlet.]  Full Summary

388   'Tis now the very witching time of night,
389   When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
390   Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
391   And do such bitter business as the day
392   Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother.
393   O heart, lose not thy nature; let not ever
394   The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom:
395   Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
396   I will speak daggers to her, but use none;
397   My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites;
398   How in my words soever she be shent,
399   To give them seals never, my soul, consent!

            Exit.