As You Like It: Act 4, Scene 1
Enter ROSALIND and CELIA and JAQUES.
1I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted
3They say you are a melancholy fellow.
4I am so; I do love it better than laughing.
5Those that are in extremity of either are abominable
6fellows and betray themselves to every modern
7censure worse than drunkards.
8Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.
9Why then, 'tis good to be a post.
10I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is
11emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical,
12nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the
13soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's,
14which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor
15the lover's, which is all these: but it is a
16melancholy of mine own, compounded of many
17simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed
18the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which
19my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous
21A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason
22to be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands
23to see other men's; then, to have seen much and
24to have nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor
26Yes, I have gained my experience.
27And your experience makes you sad: I had
28rather have a fool to make me merry than
29experience to make me sad; and to travel for it too!
30Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind!
31Nay, then, God buy you, and you talk in blank
33Farewell, Monsieur Traveller: look you lisp and
34wear strange suits, disable all the benefits of your
35own country, be out of love with your nativity and
36almost chide God for making you that countenance
37you are, or I will scarce think you have swam in a
39Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been
40all this while? You a lover! And you serve me such
41another trick, never come in my sight more.
42My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my
44Break an hour's promise in love! He that will
45divide a minute into a thousand parts and break
46but a part of the thousandth part of a minute in
47the affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid
48hath clapped him o' the shoulder, but I'll warrant
50Pardon me, dear Rosalind.
51Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight.
52I had as lief be wooed of a snail.
53Of a snail?
54Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he
55carries his house on his head; a better jointure,
56I think, than you make a woman. Besides he
57brings his destiny with him.
59Why, horns, which such as you are fain to
60be beholding to your wives for: but he comes
61arm'd in his fortune and prevents the slander
62of his wife.
63Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is
65And I am your Rosalind.
66It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a
67Rosalind of a better leer than you.
68Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a
69holiday humour and like enough to consent.
70What would you say to me now, an I were
71your very very Rosalind?
72I would kiss before I spoke.
73Nay, you were better speak first, and when you
74were gravelled for lack of matter, you might take
75occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are
76out, they will spit; and for lovers lackingGod
77warn us!matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss.
78How if the kiss be denied?
79Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins
81Who could be out, being before his beloved
83Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress,
84or I should think my honesty ranker than my
86What, of my suit?
87Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your
88suit. Am not I your Rosalind?
89I take some joy to say you are, because I
90would be talking of her.
91Well, in her person, I say I will not have
93Then in mine own person I die.
94No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is
95almost six thousand years old, and in all this
96time there was not any man died in his own
97person, videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had
98his brains dashed out with a Grecian club; yet
99he did what he could to die before, and he is one
100of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have
101lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned
102nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night;
103for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in
104the Hellespont and being taken with the cramp was
105drowned and the foolish chroniclers of that age found
106it was 'Hero of Sestos.' But these are all lies: men have
107died from time to time and worms have eaten them,
108but not for love.
109I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind,
110for, I protest, her frown might kill me.
111By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come,
112now I will be your Rosalind in a more
113coming-on disposition, and ask me what you
114will. I will grant it.
115Then love me, Rosalind.
116Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and
118And wilt thou have me?
119Ay, and twenty such.
120What sayest thou?
121Are you not good?
122I hope so.
123Why then, can one desire too much of a good
124thing? Come, sister, you shall be the priest and
125marry us. Give me your hand, Orlando. What
126do you say, sister?
127Pray thee, marry us.
128I cannot say the words.
129You must begin, 'Will you, Orlando'
130Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this
133Ay, but when?
134Why now; as fast as she can marry us.
135Then you must say 'I take thee, Rosalind,
137I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.
138I might ask you for your commission; but I do
139take thee, Orlando, for my husband: there's a
140girl goes before the priest; and certainly a
141woman's thought runs before her actions.
142So do all thoughts; they are winged.
143Now tell me how long you would have her
144after you have possessed her.
145For ever and a day.
146Say 'a day,' without the 'ever.' No, no, Orlando; men
147are April when they woo, December when they wed:
148maids are May when they are maids, but the sky
149changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous
150of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen,
151more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more
152new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires
153than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana
154in the fountain, and I will do that when you are
155disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and
156that when thou art inclined to sleep.
157But will my Rosalind do so?
158By my life, she will do as I do.
159O, but she is wise.
160Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the
161wiser, the waywarder: make the doors upon a
162woman's wit and it will out at the casement; shut
163that and 'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill
164fly with the smoke out at the chimney.
165A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might
166say 'Wit, whither wilt?'
167Nay, you might keep that cheque for it till you
168met your wife's wit going to your neighbour's
170And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
171Marry, to say she came to seek you there.
172You shall never take her without her answer,
173unless you take her without her tongue. O,
174that woman that cannot make her fault her
175husband's occasion, let her never nurse her
176child herself, for she will breed it like a fool!
177For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave
179Alas! dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours.
180I must attend the duke at dinner: by two o'clock
181I will be with thee again.
182Ay, go your ways, go your ways; I knew what you
183would prove: my friends told me as much, and I
184thought no less: that flattering tongue of yours
185won me: 'tis but one cast away, and so, come,
186death! Two o'clock is your hour?
187Ay, sweet Rosalind.
188By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend
189me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous,
190if you break one jot of your promise or come one
191minute behind your hour, I will think you the most
192pathetical break-promise and the most hollow lover
193and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind that
194may be chosen out of the gross band of the
195unfaithful: therefore beware my censure and keep
197With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my
198Rosalind: so adieu.
199Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such
200offenders, and let Time try: adieu.
201You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate:
202we must have your doublet and hose plucked over
203your head, and show the world what the bird hath
204done to her own nest.
205O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou
206didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But
207it cannot be sounded: my affection hath an unknown
208bottom, like the bay of Portugal.
209Or rather, bottomless, that as fast as you pour
210affection in, it runs out.
211No, that same wicked bastard of Venus that was begot
212of thought, conceived of spleen and born of madness,
213that blind rascally boy that abuses every one's eyes
214because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I
215am in love. I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out
216of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow and
217sigh till he come.
218And I'll sleep.