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Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO.
PETRUCHIO
1 Verona, for a while I take my leave,
2 To see my friends in Padua, but of all
3 My best beloved and approved friend,
4 Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
5 Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.
GRUMIO
6 Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there man has
7 rebused your worship?
PETRUCHIO
8 Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
GRUMIO
9 Knock you here, sir! why, sir, what am I, sir, that
10 I should knock you here, sir?
PETRUCHIO
11 Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
12 And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.
GRUMIO
13 My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first,
14 And then I know after who comes by the worst.
PETRUCHIO
15 Will it not be?
16 Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring it;
17 I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
GRUMIO
18 Help, masters, help! my master is mad.
PETRUCHIO
19 Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
HORTENSIO
20 How now! what's the matter? My old friend
21 Grumio! and my good friend Petruchio!
22 How do you all at Verona?
PETRUCHIO
23 Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
24 Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say.
HORTENSIO
25 Alla nostra casa ben venuto,
26 Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.
27 Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel.
GRUMIO
28 Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin.
29 if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his
30 service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and
31 rap him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant
32 to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see,
33 two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I
34 had well knock'd at first, then had not Grumio
35 come by the worst.
PETRUCHIO
36 A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
37 I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
38 And could not get him for my heart to do it.
GRUMIO
39 Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you
40 not these words plain, "Sirrah, knock me here,
41 rap me here, knock me well, and knock me
42 soundly"? And come you now with, "knocking
43 at the gate"?
PETRUCHIO
44 Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
HORTENSIO
45 Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge:
46 Why, this' a heavy chance 'twixt him and you,
47 Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
48 And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
49 Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
PETRUCHIO
50 Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
51 To seek their fortunes farther than at home
52 Where small experience grows. But in a few,
53 Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
54 Antonio, my father, is deceased;
55 And I have thrust myself into this maze,
56 Happily to wive and thrive as best I may:
57 Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
58 And so am come abroad to see the world.
HORTENSIO
59 Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
60 And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favor'd wife?
61 Thou'ldst thank me but a little for my counsel:
62 And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich
63 And very rich: but thou'rt too much my friend,
64 And I'll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCHIO
65 Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we
66 Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
67 One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife,
68 As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
69 Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,
70 As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd
71 As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse,
72 She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
73 Affection's edge in me, were she as rough
74 As are the swelling Adriatic seas:
75 I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
76 If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO
77 Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his
78 mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to
79 a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er
80 a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases
81 as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss,
82 so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO
83 Petruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in,
84 I will continue that I broach'd in jest.
85 I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
86 With wealth enough and young and beauteous,
87 Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman:
88 Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
89 Is that she is intolerable curst
90 And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
91 That, were my state far worser than it is,
92 I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
PETRUCHIO
93 Hortensio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect:
94 Tell me her father's name and 'tis enough;
95 For I will board her, though she chide as loud
96 As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
HORTENSIO
97 Her father is Baptista Minola,
98 An affable and courteous gentleman:
99 Her name is Katharina Minola,
100 Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
PETRUCHIO
101 I know her father, though I know not her;
102 And he knew my deceased father well.
103 I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;
104 And therefore let me be thus bold with you
105 To give you over at this first encounter,
106 Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO
107 I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts.
108 O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she
109 would think scolding would do little good upon him:
110 she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so:
111 why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in
112 his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what sir, an she
113 stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in
114 her face and so disfigure her with it that she
115 shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat.
116 You know him not, sir.
HORTENSIO
117 Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
118 For in Baptista's keep my treasure is:
119 He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
120 His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca,
121 And her withholds from me and other more,
122 Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
123 Supposing it a thing impossible,
124 For those defects I have before rehearsed,
125 That ever Katharina will be woo'd;
126 Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en,
127 That none shall have access unto Bianca
128 Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.
GRUMIO
129 Katharina the curst!
130 A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
HORTENSIO
131 Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
132 And offer me disguised in sober robes
133 To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
134 Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;
135 That so I may, by this device, at least
136 Have leave and leisure to make love to her
137 And unsuspected court her by herself.
GRUMIO
138 Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks,
139 how the young folks lay their heads together!
Enter GREMIO, and LUCENTIO
disguised [as a schoolmaster].
140 Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?
HORTENSIO
141 Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.
142 Petruchio, stand by a while.
GRUMIO
143 A proper stripling and an amorous!
GREMIO
144 O, very well; I have perused the note.
145 Hark you, sir: I'll have them very fairly bound:
146 All books of love, see that at any hand;
147 And see you read no other lectures to her:
148 You understand me: over and beside
149 Signior Baptista's liberality,
150 I'll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,
151 And let me have them very well perfumed
152 For she is sweeter than perfume itself
153 To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
LUCENTIO
154 Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you
155 As for my patron, stand you so assured,
156 As firmly as yourself were still in place:
157 Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
158 Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
GREMIO
159 O this learning, what a thing it is!
GRUMIO
160 O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
HORTENSIO
162 Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.
GREMIO
163 And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
164 Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
165 I promised to inquire carefully
166 About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:
167 And by good fortune I have lighted well
168 On this young man, for learning and behavior
169 Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
170 And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
HORTENSIO
171 'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
172 Hath promised me to help me to another,
173 A fine musician to instruct our mistress;
174 So shall I no whit be behind in duty
175 To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
GREMIO
176 Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.
GRUMIO
177 And that his bags shall prove.
HORTENSIO
178 Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love:
179 Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
180 I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.
181 Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
182 Upon agreement from us to his liking,
183 Will undertake to woo curst Katharina,
184 Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
GREMIO
185 So said, so done, is well.
186 Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
PETRUCHIO
187 I know she is an irksome brawling scold:
188 If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
GREMIO
189 No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?
PETRUCHIO
190 Born in Verona, old Antonio's son:
191 My father dead, my fortune lives for me;
192 And I do hope good days and long to see.
GREMIO
193 O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!
194 But if you have a stomach, to't a' God's name:
195 You shall have me assisting you in all.
196 But will you woo this wild-cat?
GRUMIO
197 Will he woo her? ay, or I'll hang her.
PETRUCHIO
198 Why came I hither but to that intent?
199 Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
200 Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
201 Have I not heard the sea puff'd up with winds
202 Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
203 Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
204 And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?
205 Have I not in a pitched battle heard
206 Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?
207 And do you tell me of a woman's tongue,
208 That gives not half so great a blow to hear
209 As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire?
210 Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
GREMIO
211 Hortensio, hark:
212 This gentleman is happily arrived,
213 My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
HORTENSIO
214 I promised we would be contributors
215 And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er.
GREMIO
216 And so we will, provided that he win her.
GRUMIO
217 I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
*** Enter TRANIO brave [disguised as Lucentio],
and BIONDELLO.
TRANIO
218 Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,
219 Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
220 To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?
BIONDELLO
221 He that has the two fair daughters: is't he you mean?
TRANIO
222 Even he, Biondello.
GREMIO
223 Hark you, sir; you mean not her to—
TRANIO
224 Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?
PETRUCHIO
225 Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
TRANIO
226 I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.
LUCENTIO
227 Well begun, Tranio.
HORTENSIO
227 Sir, a word ere you go;
228 Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?
TRANIO
229 And if I be, sir, is it any offence?
GREMIO
230 No; if without more words you will get you hence.
TRANIO
231 Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
232 For me as for you?
TRANIO
233 For what reason, I beseech you?
GREMIO
233 For this reason, if you'll know,
234 That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio.
HORTENSIO
235 That she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
TRANIO
236 Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen,
237 Do me this right; hear me with patience.
238 Baptista is a noble gentleman,
239 To whom my father is not all unknown;
240 And were his daughter fairer than she is,
241 She may more suitors have and me for one.
242 Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers;
243 Then well one more may fair Bianca have:
244 And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one,
245 Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
GREMIO
246 What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.
LUCENTIO
247 Sir, give him head: I know he'll prove a jade.
PETRUCHIO
248 Hortensio, to what end are all these words?
HORTENSIO
249 Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
250 Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?
TRANIO
251 No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two,
252 The one as famous for a scolding tongue
253 As is the other for beauteous modesty.
PETRUCHIO
254 Sir, sir, the first's for me; let her go by.
GREMIO
255 Yea, leave that labor to great Hercules;
256 And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.
PETRUCHIO
257 Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:
258 The youngest daughter whom you hearken for
259 Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
260 And will not promise her to any man
261 Until the elder sister first be wed:
262 The younger then is free and not before.
TRANIO
263 If it be so, sir, that you are the man
264 Must stead us all and me amongst the rest,
265 And if you break the ice and do this feat,
266 Achieve the elder, set the younger free
267 For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
268 Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
HORTENSIO
269 Sir, you say well and well you do conceive;
270 And since you do profess to be a suitor,
271 You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
272 To whom we all rest generally beholding.
TRANIO
273 Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof,
274 Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
275 And quaff carouses to our mistress' health,
276 And do as adversaries do in law,
277 Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
GRUMIO, BIONDELLO
278 O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.
HORTENSIO
279 The motion's good indeed and be it so,
280 Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.
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